Imagine yourself getting ready for a first date. Your heart is pounding as if you were in a rock group. You’re thinking about all the things that you should and shouldn’t be saying, as well as what to wear. Preparing for an interview is similar, but there are more butterflies and less talk about your resume. Read more now on understand the dating game.
Let’s start with the age-old problem: How do you meet new people? There are plenty of dating apps — Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, for example. But don’t overlook real-life encounters. They still happen. You can find them in coffee shops, bookstores or even at a friend’s barbecue. Serendipity can sometimes be a better matchmaker than an algorithm.
Let’s start with first impressions. It’s true what they say, “You don’t get a second opportunity to make a good first impression.” Dress nicely but comfortably. Nobody wants to see someone tugging on their collars all night. Confidence is important, but not arrogance. It’s hard to tell the difference between being charming and insufferable.
You’re both sitting at the same table (or somewhere else). What do you say? If you are not prepared, a conversation can feel like navigating a minefield. Start off light-heartedly, like a weather chat that’s a little more engaging. What’s the latest book you read? It’s much more interesting than “So what is your five-year goal?” Save the heavy stuff until later, when both of you are more relaxed.
Active listening is a great way to improve your dating life. This is a great tool for dating situations. You can nod, keep eye contact with them (but do not stare at them like you are trying to hypnotize) and reply thoughtfully. Give them the space to talk about themselves without becoming their therapist.
Humor can be a powerful tool when it comes to dating. Laughter is the best way to break the ice. Share silly stories and funny anecdotes about your life, like the time you accidentally wore mismatched sneakers to work. You didn’t realize it until lunchtime.
Okay, maybe your date is going great. Sparks are flying. How can you tell if someone is really into you? You can look for subtle signals, such as leaning into you while speaking, mirroring your movement, or laughing (even at bad jokes). You may want to consider cutting your losses if they are constantly checking their phones or scanning the room.
Rejection hurts, but it is part of the game. Do not take it personally. Everyone has different tastes. Remember the scene in “Friends”, where Ross made a pro/con-list about Rachel? This is a bad idea! Keep fishing and move on with grace.
When things progress beyond initial dates into something more serious–communication becomes crucially important. You don’t want to sound like you are reading from a list during the interview process. (“I want three children by 35”) Be honest with what you need. It’s important to express your feelings, but you should also be receptive when others share theirs. This is called dialogue.
It can also be difficult to navigate disagreements. No one enjoys conflict, but avoiding them is not healthy. Avoid letting issues fester until they explode over trivial things like who left dirty plates out last night.
Final thought–and it might sound cliche, but always be yourself on this journey. Pretending otherwise will only lead to unnecessary complications when the true colors eventually emerge.
It’s not rocket science to date, though it can feel that way. It’s about connecting authentically and honestly with another person amidst the myriad of uncertainties & quirks in life. So bravely go forth dear reader! May Cupid bless you abundantly from now on.